I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
