sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
