so explain again why im purple
no
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
