my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
