I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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