wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
