she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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