Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
