I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
