I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
