we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
