listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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