we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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