if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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