Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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