I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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