After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
