They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
