oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
