Barsexuality is the new black.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
