I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
