do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
