My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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