I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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