I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
