Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
