I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
