too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
