Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
