I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
