One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
