he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
