I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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