everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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