Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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