meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
