Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
