I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
