He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
