I need help removing her.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
