Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I currently don't understand fingers.
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