i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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