so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
