wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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