Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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