I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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