Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
