Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
