Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
