is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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