Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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