she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
