their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
